Week 1 - Application Letter

I was so nervous for the first meeting. Would I measure up with the other bums? Would I fit in?

Then I took a deep breath and realized that I was attending an adult program not going starting high school! Also, I have found through the years that no matter how bad something is, I can always meditate. To learn more about this refuge is one of the reasons I started the program in the first place.

Of course, like most of my fears, hates, and even desires, I found them to be unfounded. Many of the people were familiar. Soon we were talking about what drew us to meditation.

Then came the first meditation bell. The sit was nice not just because sitting can be nice, but also because we learned the value of silence which informed the entire Dharma Bums Life program.

For me, one of the biggest draws to meditation is because I am too full of chatter and too undisciplined. After this first meditation, I felt like the program was for real. Silence and appropriate behavior were expected. This made me very happy.

Finally, we read the application letters. When I wrote mine, I thought, “I hope that they pick me.” I never thought that the letter was going to be read in front of so many people. When I heard other people’s letters, I realized that there was more suffering in the world than I ever imagined. I knew, intellectually, that suffering was all pervasive, but through the letter reading this really hit home because the people who wrote the letters seemed so normal and well adjusted. Now I am learning that no matter how happy and successful someone seems, they can harbor a great deal of pain. Also, though, I learned about how intelligent and spiritually advanced the group was. I was glad to be part of such an amazing group of people.

All my life I had longed for Sangha, a practicing community, and the missing piece of the triple refuge (Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha) in my life.

Written by Dharma Bum Fred